Yesterday, I found myself staring at my phone for 20 minutes, trying to work up the courage to make a single client call.
My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and that familiar voice in my head kept whispering, “What if you can’t explain what you do clearly, and they reject ‘you’?”
Not ‘your work’ but ‘you’!!!
I’ve been experiencing self-doubt a lot more lately. So, I spent most of my free time last week diving into articles and videos about imposter syndrome and the fear of rejection. Not because I’m researching for this post, but because I desperately needed answers.
The irony of feeling like an imposter while writing about imposter syndrome isn’t lost on me!
Here’s what my brain typically serves up on a daily basis:
- “What if I’m just fooling myself?” (This thought hits especially hard when I’m preparing for business meetings where I am expected to know all the answers about my business)
- “Does anyone get what I am doing and why I left a comfortable corporate job?” (The tiptoeing around my “joblessness” during dinner gatherings says it all)
- “Everyone else seems to know what they’re doing” (Meanwhile, I’m here Googling basic business terms at 5 am)
Recently, I came across Adam Grant’s post about “doing-it-scared,” and it felt like someone had finally put words to what I was experiencing.
It’s not about getting rid of the fear – it’s about learning to accept and coexist with it.
The hardest part? Not taking rejections personally.
Just yesterday, someone said no to my proposal, and I spent an hour convincing myself it wasn’t a reflection of my worth as a human being.
It’s a work in progress, and some days are better than others.
But here’s what’s slowly (very slowly) starting to work for me:
- Baby Steps Over Brave Faces
- I start with the smallest possible scary thing: Like writing one LinkedIn post to talk about my services (and it can create momentum to build on)
- Sometimes I still close my eyes when I hit ‘send’ (no shame in my game!)
- At times I discuss my fears and challenges with my coach to clarify my thoughts and create actions that don’t feel scary
- Finding Relief From Isolation
- I make the effort to reach out to my closest people whenever I start feeling lonely and isolated. (Yes, freelancing and entrepreneurship can feel lonely at times.)
- Turns out, just hearing others talk about their life, and challenges and connecting with them over silly things can be incredibly comforting (or distracting)
- Keeping It Real
- I save screenshots of nice messages from clients and well-wishers. When I feel really low, it helps to read them
- I write down small wins, even if it’s just “I didn’t make a fool of myself in that scary call”
- I try to record and measure my progress, even if it’s small, not just in terms of numbers, but also through my interactions with every new customer/client.
Here’s what I’m learning: maybe it’s okay that I don’t have it all figured out. Maybe the point isn’t to become fearless but to become better at being scared.
I still get nervous talking about my coaching business. Sometimes I stumble over my words during pitches. And yes, there are days when I question every life decision that led me here.
But I’m showing up anyway. Some days gracefully, other days… well, let’s just say I’m grateful video calls only show from the waist up!
This isn’t a success story – at least not yet.
It’s more of a “hey, if you’re also hiding in the bathroom before networking events, you’re not alone” story.
I’m right there with you, learning to put one foot in front of the other, scared but determined to move forward, one day at a time.
And maybe that’s enough for now.
If you’re on a similar journey, I’d love to hear your stories. After all, we can all share this “figuring it out” phase together! 💫